I know… Festivus, the seasonal celebration known for the airing of grievances, was last week. But it just didn’t seem right to complain about stuff and take people to task just two days before Christmas. So I’m going to air my grievances two days before the new year. It shouldn’t matter anyway. As Kramer finally tells Frank Costanza, “This holiday’s a little out there.”
Airing grievances on New Year’s Eve-Eve seems more appropriate anyway. As we’re making our resolutions, we can consider those grievances we have about ourselves. You know, the personal objectionables only we can fix.
Some of my grievances will surely be shared by many of you. Our neighborly words on the street usually start out with friendly how-ya-doins, but stand around long enough and somebody’s gonna complain about something.
So here they are, my grievances… in no particular order. As the elder Costanza would say, “I’ve got a lot of problems with you people!”
BAD WINTER DRIVERS
This is a good place to start. It’s the most meaningful of my grievances, because it’s one thing on this list that’s a life and death issue. Yes, accidents happen. But most of them can be avoided, or at least mitigated, by doing one simple thing… SLOW DOWN!
TREATMENT OF SERVICE INDUSTRY WORKERS
I can’t believe we have to keep harping on this, but those folks working in the service industry are still experiencing the effects of the pandemic. There’s fewer of them and more of us, particularly during busy times here in Marquette. So give ‘em a break!
And to the service workers… wait staff and bartenders, I know you’ve got your hands full, but all I need is a nod to let me know I’m on your radar, and I’ll wait my turn, patiently.
So some public figure does something stupid and those offended by the stupid thing, demand an apology. Other than a bungee cord from the dollar store, I can’t think of anything I would trust less than a forced apology. If the guilty party thinks an apology is due, they may or may not issue one. You can think of that what you want and move on.
Have you noticed the way the word “humbled” is thrown around these days? It started a few years ago when some guy was elected to some hall of fame and said he was “humbled” by it. Somebody thought that sounded good and now it’s an acceptance speech standard line.
Well, I’ve got news for you buddy. Getting elected to a hall of fame is not humbling. In fact, it’s the exact opposite of that. Humbling is when you get fired, or dumped. That’s humbling. Look it up.
I’ll admit it. I’m a sign guy. I love a good sign. Remember the old Holiday Inn signs? They were probably the best of all time. I think they disappeared when they became too expensive, and that’s understandable.
But a sign doesn’t have to be imposing to be impressive.
My beef with store signs is that they’re too often treated like a necessary evil, rather than the warm welcome they can, and should be. Before you open your doors put some thought into your sign, and work with a professional. It’ll be worth it.
And… if you have an illuminated sign? Make sure all your bulbs work! Make. Sure. All. Your. Bulbs. Work.
PETS ON THE LOOSE
I know… your cat wants to go outside. I also know he probably won’t know what to do once he gets out there. If he wanders very far from home, he might not find his way back. And once they’re on the loose, cats are hard to corral, not to mention easy targets for foxes and Fords.
Dogs are no better once they outsmart your barriers. They like to run and most of them don’t know to look both ways before crossing. Plus, they don’t usually avoid confrontation… friendly or otherwise.
A big part of being a responsible pet owner is similar to being a parent. It’s your job to ensure their safety, at all times. No excuses… do it!
COMPLAINING ABOUT MODERNIZATION
Why would you want to go back to the way it was? It wasn’t that great. We used to have to get up and walk to the TV to change the channel. To the other channel. You don’t like the way it’s going now? Do something to make it better.
ABUSE OF CITY EMPLOYEES
Ever call the city with a question or complaint? Were you courteous and respectful of the municipal employee you had on the line? I hope you were, but unfortunately not everyone is. More often than you’d think, too many of your fellow citizens feel they have the right to bully and berate a city employee, just because they pay taxes, or some such nonsense.
First of all, being a jerk to someone you’re hoping can help you with something is not the way to go. But more important than that is the simple respect you should show for someone just trying to do their job.
If you have a legitimate issue with a person or process, there are better ways to address it than confrontation peppered with profanity. And personal threats, which are not unheard of, are unacceptable.
The best way to teach our kids to not be a bully is to not be a bully. It’s not that hard.
Well, that’s enough for now. I’ll probably have a few more next year. If you have any grievances you’d like to share… go for it! And Happy New Year!