OF ALL THE REASONS we may love living here in Marquette, the level of safety we feel might be one of the greatest. Even though we can’t see it… like our natural attractions, it’s there. Sure, crime can happen anywhere, at any time, but it’s not something that typically concerns us as we go about our daily lives.
Statistically speaking, out of the 388 Michigan cities listed in the report I sourced, Marquette comes in at #148. More to the point, only five cities with populations greater than 20,000 are safer than Marquette. Most of the cities reporting less crime are much smaller… like Caspian, or Crystal Falls.
Thankfully, violent crimes in Marquette are rare, and we’ve had only three homicides in the last 20 years. Most criminal activity is of the property damage type, or crimes that don’t involve personal injury.
I could go on about the specific criminal activity we’ve had around here, but I think a more interesting examination comes from a look at the Police Logs found in the Mining Journal. So… as a public service to those who don’t regularly see the paper, Word on the Street presents an edited sampling of some of the more peculiar calls our police department responds to, including WOTS publisher commentary.
In no particular order:
• 2:43 am Caller reports her car is missing from the Commons Lot. Found at Flanigan’s Bar. –Just a thought, but maybe she shouldn’t drive home.
• 7:15 am Fire hydrant toppled over sometime during the night. Officer advised it doesn’t appear to have been hit by a vehicle, only damage is chipped paint where it hit the sidewalk. –I’ve heard of tipping over outhouses, and cows, but whoever tipped over a fire hydrant is someone you don’t want to run into at 3 in the morning.
• 5:52 am Report of a deer in the roadway. Unable to locate. –Experience tells us they’re much easier to locate when they’re found headfirst through your windshield.
• 10:38 pm Person locked in the bathroom. Assistance given. –Wait… locked IN the bathroom? I think they found her car later at Flanigan’s.
• 9:04 am Injured seagull, gone on arrival. –A degree in Criminal Justice, a couple years of law enforcement training, and you’re checking on injured seagulls? And the darn thing was faking it? This wasn’t included in the recruitment materials.
• 6:00 pm Kayaks in traffic. Area checked, unable to locate. –And we thought e-bikes were gonna be a problem.
• 2:59 pm Subject making bird noises to scare off woodpeckers. Subject advised of noise ordinance. –Bird noises to scare off birds? Unless they were noises of birds being murdered, I’m not sure how that would work.
• 6:21 pm Report of two unattended children. Spoke to the mother and two witnesses who advised that the children were being watched. –Drinking wine at the playground is a no-no. Drinking wine behind the bushes at the playground is also a no-no, but it’s harder to get caught. Also…who called the cops? Mind your own business!
• 8:18 pm Report of three subjects drinking in the parking lot. Moved along. Had a friend on the way to pick them up. –In the right place, at the right time, that’s called tailgating. This was just sad.
• 2:39 pm Bat causing problems in the entryway. Moved along. –Did they even try bird noises?
• 7:58 pm Found, Samsung cellphone. –Bad news… we found your Samsung phone.
• 4:06 Subjects yelling about drug use in front of a juvenile and/or possible domestic violence. No drug use or assault took place. –Hmm… I think we know who was using the drugs, huh?
• 5:37 pm Report of a male subject yelling into a phone. Area checked. –We need to know what the subject was yelling. Probably, “I’D LIKE TO SPEAK TO A REPRESENTATIVE!”
• 6:22 pm Disorderly female. Checked on. All okay. 400 Block of West Washington. –Not so fast… see next entry.
• 6:30 pm Complainant reported that a female violated a PPO in which she was the protected person. 500 block of West Washington. –It looks like they might have to re-write that PPO.
• 12:04 pm Cat at large. –Again… this is why you went into law enforcement?
• 3:46 pm Juvenile missing. Not missing… playing with friends. –That’s the kind of problem than can come about when your kid puts down the laptop. Lesson learned.
• 7:56 pm Trespass complaint at the Warming Center. Subject was not on property when officers arrived. –Full disclosure… trespassing is not my bag. But if I’m gonna trespass, the Warming Center wouldn’t be my first choice.
• 2:15 am Intoxicated tourist could not find his Airbnb and was knocking on the wrong door. Transported by officer to his actual rental. –I hate it when that happens. Although it’s a novel way to meet new people.
• 1:10 am Three juveniles were observed downtown after curfew. Juvenile subjects notified of curfew and moved along. –Parents… do you know where your juveniles are? And who knew there was a curfew?
• 3:30 am Resident called believing a rodent was in her couch. Officer informed her to speak with property management. –Exactly what did she think a patrol officer was going to do about a rodent in her couch? Probably about the same thing property management would do. Sounds like a “you” problem.
• 11:46 am 911 hang-up from cell phone at the golf course. Officer unable to locate. –Note to golfers… 911 is not qualified to settle rules disputes. Consult your local PGA professional.
• 12:37 pm Verbal argument between two males and two females. Gone on arrival. –Can’t we all just get along? Here’s a tip… decide beforehand who’s gonna pick up the check.
• 2:01 am Possible operating while intoxicated driver in the drive-thru. Contact made with driver and they were not intoxicated. –Not drunk. Just making decisions as if they were.
• 11:30 am Caller states she is being harassed by a male subject about parking. Officer spoke to both complainant and subject and advised subject to cease contact. –That could’ve been me. It wasn’t, but it could’ve been. I watched some guy attempt to parallel park for about 15 minutes the other day and it took every ounce of strength I had to hold my tongue. At least I didn’t end up in the Police Log.
Seen enough? By the accounts cited above, you’d think our patrol officers don’t find themselves in harm’s way very often. But nothing could be further from the truth. Every time a cop responds to a call, he or she has no idea what they’re walking into. Fortunately, here in Marquette, most calls are resolved without violent conflict.
Marquette Police Chief Ryan Grim offers his perspective… “With the lower serious crime rate, we can focus our efforts more on community policing activities like spending time at sporting and other special events, school checks, and presentations. Marquette is a safe and special place, and we will do everything we can to make sure it stays that way.”
A safe community isn’t something we can take for granted. It takes all of us to keep it that way. We can’t control the actions of others, but we can set an example of how we expect others to behave.
And when that doesn’t work? Call the cops.