THE UNWRITTEN RULES LOOSELY woven through the brief history of social media continue to unravel. What “unwritten rules,” you ask? Well… one in particular. Civility.
I guess it was inevitable. Provide an open forum to anyone with access to a keyboard and you’re essentially pulling the loose thread on the world wide web, an already haphazardly assembled outfit. Once the fabric of social responsibility begins to come apart, it’s hard to stop.
A couple recent Facebook posts illustrate how the slippery slope of social media can lead to a deep pool of dirty water, made toxic by an onslaught of ill-mannered condemnations, with little regard for those just trying to stay afloat.
One such post that appeared in the FB group called An Uncensored Community of Women showed how words actually become worse than sticks and stones when thrown around with someone’s character at stake.
Case In Point
If you didn’t see it, the OP (Original Poster) made a comment about a drive-thru employee at a local financial institution who didn’t meet the minimum level of “friendly” expected during the transaction.
First, and I don’t know why I have to say this, but… if you’re trying to make friends, the drive-thru is probably the wrong place to do it. Make your deal and move on. The person in line behind you will appreciate it.
More importantly, do you really need to use the bullhorn of social media to question the virtue of someone you surely don’t know, and likely couldn’t pick out of a lineup? The super-strength glass between the two of you could probably stop a bullet, but it’s not enough to prevent you from assessing the temperament of someone handling the mundane task required of their employment?
To their credit, the OP didn’t identify the offending attendant by name. No, that was done by one of the many respondents to the post. So now the hundreds of group participants know the who, what, and where this alleged blatant abuse of social protocol took place.
Fortunately, not all groups allow such defamatory rhetoric. The predecessor to An Uncensored Community of Women is called simply Community of Women. That group’s administrator closely monitors the content and doesn’t allow postings that dwell on unwarranted ad hominem attacks, but rather strives to offer a platform of positivity. What a crazy idea, huh?
Putting a Business at Risk
The other recent Facebook storm rolled out of the lower harbor’s Iron Bay Restaurant & Drinkery. In this case, the OP questioned the application of a “Transparency Fee”… unbeknownst to them until they saw the additional 4% tacked on their bill.
Okay, we can question a “transparency fee” that was anything but, unless you’re the kind of person who reads the fine print on a menu. However, the social media reaction… thousands of comments over several different posts, would have you believe that a $2 addition to your $50 tab is cause for an organized boycott of the offending business.
Though the original post was more questioning than accusatory, it didn’t take long for the keyboard warriors to pile on. The owner of Iron Bay quickly responded on Facebook with an explanation of the fee, but by then, any good intentions behind the idea had already been deep-sixed by the Facebook opinion engine.
As we’ve reported here before, running a restaurant these days is hard enough. Trial by Facebook just adds to the challenge.
No Defense
You can’t un-ring the bell, or put the toothpaste back in the tube… whichever analogy you prefer. Once you post that disparaging remark, it’s almost impossible to take it back. Whether it’s a screen shot, or just someone’s good memory, your comment is now on the all-time permanent record.
The problem with anti-social social media posts is that they usually amount to little more than a shot in the dark. Regardless of their relevance, they often just express an opinion based on an inaccurate interpretation of an event, or, even when the accusations are valid, they’re one-sided. Seldom do we get to hear a defense, and if we do, it’s too late. The damage has been done. The bell has been rung.
Pot Calling the Kettle Black
Admittedly, I’m walking a bit of a tightrope here. It could be suggested that Word on the Street is little more than a collection of gossip and rumors tailored to excite the click-bait internet community. While I’m sure there are blogs that fit that description, this one, as defined by its founder Brian Cabell, strives to publish factual information along with associated relevant opinions designed to inform and enlighten, rather than confuse and mislead.
In other words, even when a Word on the Street article is more critical than complimentary, it’s usually fair. At least, that’s the objective.
What To Do?
Apparently Facebook has rules of engagement, but they don’t often apply to those off-the-cuff criticisms of businesses or individuals. Civility requires self discipline, which seems to be in short supply these days, particularly in social media.
Here’s an idea. First… think twice before you hit “send.” Is it really necessary? And then, if still in doubt, you can always fall back on Grandma’s rule… if you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.