I heard the call of the wild this last weekend and camped out. It was the first time in at least ten years, but as I age, I feel that I’m now getting more in touch with the land, the beasts, and my own inner macho self.
So we shook the dust and mold off of an old but rarely used two-person tent, went out and bought sleeping bags ($100 each) and blow-up air mattresses ( $60 each), then staked our claim to some land at a one-night family reunion camp-out.
Rugged stuff. We were 50 feet from some teenage campers who were still chatting loudly at 2:30 am, 75 feet from a little house that was home to a group of kids who weren’t yet old enough for school, and a 100 feet, give or take, from a couple of travel trailers and a campfire that was still throwing sparks at 1 am.
Yep, all alone in the wilderness, having to fend for ourselves.
Turns out, the air mattresses provided only slightly more comfort than a bag of coal, and the tent and sleeping bags left us in a shallow pool of sweat.
The only relief I got was when I got up to pee (maybe 3-4 times during the night. Hey, I’m an old man!) and I felt a refreshing wind whistling the through the trees. But then I was back on all fours, burrowing my way into our little two-person sauna.
Altogether, I might have gotten 3 hours of sleep and was thrilled to see the sun shed its first light through the pines in the eastern skies. Six a.m.
At that point, bleary-eyed and attempting with only partial success to walk upright, I trudged over to the main cabin, past all my fellow, deep-slumbering campmates (What the hell?? Were they taking sleeping pills or were they just drunk?) who wouldn’t wake up for another hour or two. In the cabin, I turned on the coffee.
Ah, civilization.
It was there, in the cabin, that I also found my faithful dog who NEVER leaves my side and ADORES sleeping next to me. Well, there she was, inside, lying on a rug, supremely comfortable, and looking up at me as if to say, “Where were you last night? I missed you. Nice place here, huh? Comfy. Real comfy.” And with that, she sighed, laid her head back down on her paws and began snoring.